5
Dec, 2025
How to Manage Guest Lists for Big Desi Families Without Drama
If there’s one thing almost every British South Asian couple agrees on, it’s this: the guest list can get out of hand *very* quickly. What starts as a simple list of close family and friends can suddenly include neighbours from 1998, your mum’s yoga partner, and relatives you’ve never met but are apparently “must‑invite.”
Step 1: Set the Ground Rules Together First
Before any family gets involved, you and your partner must be united on three things:Total guest count limitNumber of events guests will attend (not everyone needs to attend everything)Who gets a say** in the guest listThis helps you stay strong later if the list starts to snowball.> **ShaadiPrep Tip:** Agree on a “non‑negotiables list” as a couple. These are 10–20 people who *must* be there.Step 2: Use the A/B/C List Method (The Calmest Way to Do It)This is the easiest way to avoid long arguments
This method gives parents room to add names *without* taking over the list.Step 3: Split Guest Numbers FairlyA fair breakdown for many couples is:50% couple (25% each)50% parents (25% each side)If one side is contributing more financially, the balance can shift — but it should be discussed openly to avoid resentment.Frame it as: “This keeps it fair for everyone, so both families feel represented.”Step 4: Bring Parents In *After* You’ve Structured the ListDon’t show parents a blank list — they will fill it for you.Show them your A/B/C structure and ask them to place their suggestions into the three tiers.This gently guides them to prioritise.🟣 **Follow us on Instagram @ShaadiPrepUK for more planning hacks like this!**Step 5: Decide Who Attends Which EventsNot everyone needs to be at every event. Use this guide:
This protects your budget and keeps intimate moments *intimate*.Step 6: Handle Family Pressures CalmlyHere are polite but firm ways to respond:**If parents push for more guests:**> “We really want everyone to enjoy the day comfortably. If we go above this number, it may affect the experience for everyone.”**If asked to invite people you barely know:**> “We’d love to celebrate with them another time, but we want to keep the wedding personal.”**When relatives compare to other weddings:**> “Every family is different — this is what works best for us as a couple.”Soft, respectful… but still firm.Step 7: Use Digital Tools to Stay OrganisedA South Asian wedding involves multiple events and guest overlaps — managing RSVPs in spreadsheets is a nightmare.**ShaadiPrep makes it easier to:**✔ Track guests across multiple events✔ Assign seats & group households✔ Manage RSVPs and meal preferences✔ Avoid duplicate invites and mix‑upsNo more lost lists, WhatsApp confusion, or 5 different versions of the guest list.Final ThoughtsGuest list drama usually comes from a lack of clarity, boundaries and communication. When you set rules early, involve parents with structure, and stay united as a couple — the process becomes calmer, respectful and drama‑free.Your wedding, your rules — planned with love.✅ Plan Your Guest List the Smart WayStart your guest list on **ShaadiPrep** to organise invites across all events, manage RSVPs and avoid stress.Begin planning with ease today!
Step 1: Set the Ground Rules Together First
Before any family gets involved, you and your partner must be united on three things:Total guest count limitNumber of events guests will attend (not everyone needs to attend everything)Who gets a say** in the guest listThis helps you stay strong later if the list starts to snowball.> **ShaadiPrep Tip:** Agree on a “non‑negotiables list” as a couple. These are 10–20 people who *must* be there.Step 2: Use the A/B/C List Method (The Calmest Way to Do It)This is the easiest way to avoid long arguments
This method gives parents room to add names *without* taking over the list.Step 3: Split Guest Numbers FairlyA fair breakdown for many couples is:50% couple (25% each)50% parents (25% each side)If one side is contributing more financially, the balance can shift — but it should be discussed openly to avoid resentment.Frame it as: “This keeps it fair for everyone, so both families feel represented.”Step 4: Bring Parents In *After* You’ve Structured the ListDon’t show parents a blank list — they will fill it for you.Show them your A/B/C structure and ask them to place their suggestions into the three tiers.This gently guides them to prioritise.🟣 **Follow us on Instagram @ShaadiPrepUK for more planning hacks like this!**Step 5: Decide Who Attends Which EventsNot everyone needs to be at every event. Use this guide:
Recent